Sunday, December 28, 2008
As I mentioned I've been writing a lot recently. I'm up to a little over 350 pages in one novel, 50 in another and I have a few little ones in the plotting stages. It's such a wonderful release to be writing again. Jason always laughs whenever I try to explain to him how a creative mind works. I have a very hard time focusing on just one passion at a time. For example - I LOVE baking, I LOVE writing, I LOVE reading, I LOVE Jr. High kids - there are so many things I would much rather be doing with my life than pushing paper for xyz corp. This is the curse of the creative person I assume. Jason doesn't understand.. he's very structured, logical, fix it, leftt brained type of person. I try to explain my ways of thinking or my passions and he just looks at me and tells me I'm just like my dad - ouch. Oh well I guess there's no denying the truth.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Result: Flat Tire. Flat Hair.
“You have to be kidding me.”
There sat my incredibly average sedan, with an incredibly irritating flat tire.
I wanted to kick and scream like a three year old on the candy aisle. I felt like throwing down my bags, and crying. I had no idea how to change a flat tire, it was 6:45 PM, the parking garage was almost empty and I was now going to be late to Hannah's recital. I could just see the smug smile that would be plastered all over Darcy's face when she noticed I wasn't there for my own daughter's recital.
I stomped over to the car and opened the door with a loud squealing noise as if it were screaming out in agony. “Oh shut it.” I bit back as I tossed my purse and files in the passenger seat and began to take my jacket off. “You had to do this to me on the one day I wear a skirt, didn't you?” I questioned as if my sad little car were going to fight back. I pulled the trunk release and slammed my door shut to prove a point.
I continued to grumble loudly as I unloaded my trunk in an attempt to unearth the spare tire. Who knew I had so much stuff in my trunk. Embarrassing stuff for that matter. I brushed my hair out of my face after tossing an arm full of pink and white tutu's on the ground next to leotards, light pink tights and a little mermaid sleeping bag. When did my child decide that my trunk had become her changing room? The pink travesties continued to overflow from the back of my trunk until I saw enough of the gray interior to realize that I had made contact. I pulled open the lid and eyed the dark, greasy, spare tire. “Note to self – never wear a white skirt, ever ever again.” Karma was having way too much fun with me today. First a cup of coffee down the front of me during morning meeting, second a dropped yellow highlighter smudge from nowhere and now a big greasy tire and dirty parking garage floor.
I stood as far back as possible from myself as I pulled the tire out of the trunk. With a bounce I placed it on the ground and leaned it up against the car. My hands were now completely black and I eyed a pair of Hannah's pink colored tights as a hand towel. “Later.” I reminded myself. I returned to the trunk and removed the Jack and the big “x” shaped tool. I wasn't even going to pretend like I knew what I was doing here.
I eyed the oily ground next to the flat tire and realized that I would have to be on the ground to get the jack in the correct spot. After only a fleeting moment of hesitation I unrolled the little mermaid sleeping bag in front of the tire and sunk my way down to eye level with the tire as lady like as possible. I felt around for a firm place to place the jack, put it into position and began to pump as my car groaned.
The elevator hummed behind me as it pulled to a slow stop on my floor. “No. No. No. No. No!” I whispered to myself as I eyed the remaining cars in the parking lot. Boss, other boss, cute boss, and long-legs McGee were all that were left. I glanced around at my piles of pink tights, leotards, tulle tutu's and sleeping bags and wanted to run for it.
Too late. My conscious mocked me as I heard the doors open and a conversation flow out of it. I tried to remain as focused as I could and spent my time looking down at the “x” shaped tool to try to see which size end would fit over the bolts on my tire.
“Ms. Whitten?” My shoulders slumped and my insides churned. Cute boss. I sucked in a breath and threw on a “can-do-attitude” smile and turned to him. “Hi, Mr. Atkinson.”
“Let me call you back, sweetheart.” He said as put his brief case down and pulled his bluetooth from his ear. “Why didn't you tell me we were having a slumber party in the parking garage? I would have brought my tea set.” He grinned his perfect Harvard educated, Mercedes Benz driving grin.
“I was going to invite you but I wasn't sure if Little Mermaid and Ballet were your thing.” I answered.
“I'm more of a Sleeping Beauty person myself, but I think I can overlook that small detail.” He laid his pristine black jacket over the back of my car and knelt down beside me. “May I?” He held out his hand for the “x” shaped tool.
“Oh no, really, it's ok. I've got it under control.” I lied as I tried to force a bolt into an end of the tool that was apparently too small.
“Ms. Whitten?” He continued to smile. “What's the name of the tool in your hands?”
Damn. I knew I should have paid more attention the hundreds of times my father had told me how to change a tire. “Um, bolt remover crow bar thing?” I sighed hopelessly.
He chuckled and removed it from my hands. “Excuse me.” He said as he scooted closer to me on the sleeping bag and immediately placed the correct end of the tool on the bolt.
“Mr. Atkinson, you really don't have to do this.” I assured him as I picked myself up off of the ground. “I appreciate it but I know you probably have places to be and things to do.” Before I was able to finish the sentence I heard all 4 bolts fall to the ground.
“And you don't?” He asked without stopping. “You can call me Robert. I'm not sure there's a big need for formalities here considering we are in a dark parking garage on a Little Mermaid sleeping bag.”
“It's Leah.” I added. “Thank you.”
“Don't mention it.”
“Oh believe me. I won't.” I sighed.
He laughed and pulled the dead tire off. “Leah, your tires desperately need to be replaced. When was the last time you had them changed?”
I shrugged and rubbed my forehead. I could just feel the headache forming. “I've only had the car a month. I'm not sure how old they are.”
“You bought a car with tires like this? You didn't think to have new ones thrown in?” The spare was already on.
“The car was given to me.” I replied quietly.
“Well that was nice of someone. I would certainly hope that next time that someone would pay a bit more attention to matters that involve the safety of your little ballerina.”
Before I knew it the spare was bolted down and my car was groaning again as it settled into a more comfortable position. He picked himself up off the ground and placed the tools and dead tire back in the trunk. “All done.”
“Thank you. You really didn't have to.” I blushed as I began to pile the tulle and pink back into the trunk.
He smiled and folded up the sleeping bag and held it out for me. “Next time I expect a formal invitation.”
“I truly hope there is not a next time.” I groaned as I stuffed the sleeping bag into the last available cranny in the trunk and closed the door.
He picked up his jacket and pulled a handkerchief out of the inner pocket and held it out to me. “You have some grease on your forehead.”
I gasped as I took the handkerchief and assessed the situation in the reflection of my window. Flat strawberry red hair, crumpled shirt, make up that had it's fair share of the day and now a grease spot on my sweaty forehead. “Beautiful.” I scoffed as I did my best to rub it off. The harder I rubbed at it the more red my forehead got. Oh whatever. I gave up and returned the cloth. “Thanks.”
He nodded and wiped the grease off his hands. He tossed his jacket over his arm and picked up his black briefcase with a very quiet sigh. “Thanks for letting me tinker.”
“Any time.” I said slightly surprised.
“Have a good night, Leah.”
“Thank you, Mr. Atkins – Robert.” I corrected myself as I walked back to my door.
“My pleasure.” He smiled softly and began to walk to his dark blue Mercedes.
I climbed in my car and pulled the door closed softly. I jammed the key in the ignition and saw the clock light up.
“Crap!” I turned the engine over and pulled out of my space before he had even made it to his car. As I made my way out of the parking garage I picked up my phone and dialed Sloan.
This is a big step for me. I would really like to get back into writing and I'm hoping that this helps me hone myself in and get back into the swing of writing like I used to. Please be honest and straightforward about whatever you read here. I appreciate it all!!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Here is a slideshow of what I got bear today - all totaled $101 dollars!! The quality of everything just blows me away!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Don't have much time as there are cakes in the oven, hungry husband on his way home and a sleeping 5 month old just on the verge of waking up.
Work is interesting these days. My boss is about to break the news to everyone that he's leaving the company. I don't know what to do yet. He's mentioned taking me with him to his new job but then again I keep getting mixed signals. I feel the push to get into the pastry industry very strongly the last couple days. I just don't know though. I have no start up capital, that would mean more debt. I wouldn't have any health insurance. I have no clue what the market is like around here and to be honest I don't have that much experience. I've baked for fun for over 12 years now but I don't know that I have what it takes to do it for an income. Aghh!! Giving the decision to Christ is what I have to do. Have I mentioned that I hate when things are out of my hands!!!
Well Jason just walked in the door and my cakes are about done in the oven. I had better run. I promise to post more than once a month!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
I want to have a house full of kids, I want to own my own bakery, I want to own a horse farm in Montana, I want to see my children get married and I want to ride off happily into the sunset with my husband.
What about that is pleasing to Christ? Nothing. I sat in church just broken. I realized that my life as I live it is in no way shape or form pleasing to Christ. What do I do to spread his word? What do I do to help the family of Christ grow? What do I do? Nothing. Plain and simple. I don't volunteer at church. I don't go to a lifegroup. I don't spend a lot of time outside of church in prayer. I go to church on Sundays, feel holy and pleased with myself on Mondays and I listen to Klove all week. What a slackjaw Christian I have become. I am the very epitome of what I dislike about Christianity. Then I sit here and I battle with myself. When do I have time for a lifegroup? I don't even have time to clean my house? When do I have time to volunteer? I don't want to go to a Lifegroup I'll get burned by Christian girls once again. I don't know as much about the Bible as half of the people in a Lifegroup. Why go? Can't the same thing be achieved at home?
I've been battling with myself long enough, people. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being content. I want to be on fire. I want to burn with the passion of Christ. I want my daughter to grow up with an awe for her mom's relationship with Christ. I want to be the epitome of Christ's grace and love for the world to see. I want so much more than I am! I am called to be so much more than I am. So what now? How do I start?
Friday, July 18, 2008
It's unreal. Here's my little one only about an hour or two old. 7 pounds 11 ounces of pure gorgeousness! Three weeks later we would have to take Brinley in to have her spine scanned. The pediatrician saw warning signs of Spina Bifida. We were blessed and she was cleared of all concern on her one month birthday!
Here she is at one month. Reflux was a terrible problem at this age, however, we didn't know it was reflux. The the amazing web of Christ's plans for us we wound up with a day care provider that knew what to do and when. Between her, our pediatrician and God's gracious healing we were able to start Brinley on 5 different medications to help her get through the reflux episodes.
Here's my happy two months old! I missed a LARGE majority of this month with my baby girl. The fire at work had me away from her so much more than I ever wanted. I missed a lot this month and am so upset about it. I'll never get that time with her back.
Finally the 3 month mark! What a little personality she has! Her reflux is finally under control and she's not having such violent fits. She's able to breathe during the episodes now and doesn't go as rigid as she once did. We are forever grateful for the healing that the Lord has blessed us with. She's finally on the road to recovery!!!
Finally four months! She now has two teeth coming in, has had her first ear infection and cold and is 14 pounds. She's incredibly vocal and has recently started laughing. Her smile is my light and the joy of my every day. She's such a different baby than she was just 4 months ago. Jason and I are truly blessed!
My hope and dreams for Brinley are that she grows up to love Christ more than she loves herself and to trust in Him for her strength and courage. I hope that she always follows the path less taken and that she uses the grace of Christ as her guiding light. I pray that Jason and I can be half the parents she deserves.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Norwegians - My sister finally returned home from Norway today. She's a different person. A better person. She looks like the refreshing breeze of life has just been gently blowing on her for the last two weeks. She's exhausted and still absolutely beautiful. The way she talks about the land and the cultures you would think God made her specifically to be a Norwegian. She learned so much in just two weeks. The peace and calm she has about her is beyond compare. I envy her but I am so very happy for her. This is exactly what she needed and when she needed it. God's little refresher course.
Pastries - I'm enrolling in pastry classes left and right at a local tech school. I'm so excited. I have about one a week all the way through September. This is my effort to really hone in my calling. I've battled with the desire to bake and the desire to teach just too long now and it's time to really make a decision. I know there's not as much money in baking as there is in teaching but there's not even that much in teaching so I'm not really convinced it's going to make that great of a difference. I'm so excited about the classes though. I've printed out my enrollment and it's stuck to my fridge (with my new Norwegian magnet courtesy of my sister) with great pride and anticipation. I just can't wait. Every time I pass by it I smile and get excited.
Brinley is 31/2 months and cutting her first tooth, not to mention she has a head cold at the same time. I took her to the doc thinking she had an ear infection and it just turned out to be a head cold and then we discovered the tooth a few days ago. She is 13.5 pounds now and has the thighs and cankles to prove it! It's amazing how quickly she's growing and how much she has changed. The hair in the front of her hair has mysteriously disappeared, also. Not like there was much to begin with but now it's gone. I miss it. We'll survive.
One more thing - I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I see so much of Jason in her and I love it. From the way her eyes smile to how far her ears stand off her head. She's definitely her daddy's girl. It is, however, the most amazing feeling in the world to have her cry for me or calm down the second she hears my voice or that I hold her. I've never known a bond like that and I can't even begin to explain what it does to my heart.
To watch her grow, achieve milestones and make advancements well beyond her age make me more appreciative of this gift of life and salvation. It makes me appreciate the sacrifice that Christ made for us all that much more. My baby girl has been my saving grace and my spiritual wake up call. Goodness only knows where I would be without her. Love.