Sunday, February 15, 2009

Out with the old....

It's been almost a year since Brinley was born. My oh my have things changed. This week I'm going through all of Brinley's clothes in preparation for an upcoming event. I've never consigned any of her clothes before and I'm finding it harder and harder to let these items go. Memories of her first year are making it nearly impossible to find things to sell.

This onesie is from thin... and I can't get rid of it. It means something to me because I still remember the moment that we lay down on her playmat and took these pictures. She wasn't even two weeks old yet. I can remember the way she smelt, the little noises she made, the sound of her yawn, how bright her eyes were and how tiny she was.

This is a cheap, $4 Target brand onsie that she wore to her two week doctors appointment. She had lost nearly two pounds since her birth and was wasting away. The doctor put her on medicated formula and she threw up an entire bottle all over this onsie. We sat in aunt stephy's office and I nearly bawled as I watched her throw up the formula that she needed so badly. I can't let it go.

This is a BabyGap shirt I got at a consignment store before she was born. I paid somewhere around $4.00 for it. I could sell it now at the JBF sale and make at least a 3.00 profit on it but I can't. She wore this shirt to church week after week, her birth and dedication announcement invitations were photographed in this shirt. She wore it with a pair of white shorts that were so long that they went down to her ankles and she was still the cutest thing on the block. I won't let this go.

This is a Harley Davidson onsie that was purchased for her Aunt Stephy's enjoyment. I would never have voluntarily purchased the outfit other than for the mere enjoyment of making her Aunt beam with pride. I will not shall not could not sell this.

This was the first outfit she smiled in. Nope - not letting it go.

A bib is cheap - meant to be disgusting and dirty. A bib's entire existence is to be soiled. Why keep it? Why not just throw it in a big ziploc bag and sell a bundle of them for $2.00? Because this was the first time she ate solids. Green Beans. We were watching Finding Nemo. It was 7:00 at night and Jason was down at his parents helping them with their house. I shall not let this go.

This onsie is now bleach stained all down the front and it should be thrown away or used for a rag but I won't do it. This is the onsie she wore the first night she started sitting up on her own.

Enough said - Our first and not the last OU cheer outfit for halloween 08.

Brinley's first OU Football game!! Who could let such a thing go? Never I say!

Her sleeper from the last night in her pack and play in our bedroom. From here on out she's been in her room in a big girl crib! These are neatly folded under my bed so that they're always there to remind me!!

Brinley's first Christmas morning pajamas. She was SIIIICK! Had a head cold and sores under her nose from all the weeks of snot. But in true Brinley style she was still happy, excited to see you and continually curious about everything. These pajamas are supposed to be for 18 months but at 9 months they fit her perfectly! Go figure!

There are so many more that I can't 'Bear' to give up. I know my attic will be full of baby clothes but I just can't part with them. It would be like admitting that my baby is growing up and good heavens we can't have any of that!

She's going to be one year old in two days shy of a month. I feel like bawling and congratulating myself for making it thus far. I hope and pray that the next years of her life go by with as many memories and more! I can only pray that I'm there for the best and the worst for her and that she knows just how much her mommy loves her.

Someone stop her. She must not grow up.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Case of the Mondays

I hate working for women. If I could work for men my entire life I would be just fine. They tell you straight forward what they expect of you and are much less passive aggressive. Not my luck any more. I hate girls...drama drama drama!

Friday was a very bad day. The day started with arguments with my daycare lady, mid day I let my anger get the best of me and said some choice words at my boss and hung up on her and then ended with a very big bottle of wine and a three paged complaint letter to the head-hanchos about my boss. Yes that's right - I got a backbone and tried it on for size. Evidentaly it suits me. All weekend I worried about sending the letter and was in a panic about the results of my actions. I was told by a fine lady on Sunday night that Worry isn't God. So last night and this morning I gave it up. I prayed until I fell asleep last night and all morning getting ready and driving to work this morning. Finally I received a note from the head boss praising me for stepping forward and making myself heard. We spoke on the phone later and his legitimacy blew me away. What I said in the note was professional but honest and he appreciated that with sincerity. Only a God that loves the flawed could have turned this situation out this way. I am so grateful that He is my God.

Today's random fact: I still wear the promise ring Jason bought me on our two month anniversary.

Well I'm off to do some writing and post-work-work.
God is good - all the time.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Thinking about starting school back up part time. I had an appopintment with my advisor today and I can tell you that school is the last place Satan wants me right now. Everything was working against me all morning and when I was in the office listening to her go over everything I needed I had to resist the urge to throw up my hands and just walk out.

On the walk to the advisement offices Satan was litterally screaming at me. I could hear the insults, the negative thoughts, the insecurities and every foolish things he was trying as loud as an audible voice yelling at me. I sat in the lobby and waited as he continued. So instead of looking like a real idiot and yelling back I wrote back.

This is not your day – it is mine. I am here for my future, for the future of my children and for the betterment of my family. You have fought long and hard and no longer do you win. I am good enough for this. I am smart enough for this. I do deserve this. How dare you make me believe that I am not. I am a daughter of the King and you have no hold on me. I am here to serve the Lord and to bring His grace to students. Back off, back down and know that I am the Lord’s. My future is in HIS hands… long.